One day Anni was twirling and singing one of her original compositions.
"It's my gift!" she declared.
Dizzy, she fell with spectacular gracelessness.
Laying on her back on the tile floor she began flapping her arms and legs
as if she were making a snow angel.
"Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

Monday, July 18, 2005

What is that? That freaky thing?

Frankie, fast approaching 22 months, is not yet weaned, despite my best efforts. Well...efforts, anyway. I have tried taking away one nursing session gradually, working our way down to zero, but find that she ends up in a full-blown panic as I decrease. And, as I have always given 2 years as the age at which I absolutely must stop nursing a child, I just don't have the gumption to deny her when she seems so desperate. Today was another of those days. It was only a few hours since she had nursed, and suddenly I had a tear-streaked, pitiful toddler tugging at my shirt wailing, "Nursie...nuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrssssssssiiiieeee...peeeeez mama, peez." Finally, I gave up and sat down with her. I am such a sucker for a good "peez". She latched right on, took a few draws, then pulled her head back to give me a huge grin. Then she, I am not making this up, clapped my breast between her hands and shouted, "Boo-yah!" You might be wondering how I can be so sure that she actually exclaimed "Boo-yah" given the tendency of toddlers to mangle words and all. Her latest non-stop request for music? The Naked Mole Rap (lyrics). Ron always gets a Boo-yah when Frankie's in da house. And if you're curious to hear the song itself, the Amazon page has a link for a sample (in which you will notice that he raps "girls" not "girlies." Hmmm. I guess Ron is a budding feminist? Also you can hear the voice of Bart Simpson as Rufus, the Naked Mole Rat. Also I notice that in the new 2005 edition they have cut the track Work It Out from Brassy. Are they crazy? That turntable action in the middle of the song is the best part of the whole damned soundtrack. You can get an inkling of it from this live performance at SXSW '01) But back to my breasts. This is all just further evidence that Frankie needs to be weaned. Anyone else have experience with a child stubbornly attached to the breastfeeding experience long after most nutritional value has been superceded by said child's tendency to sit in your lap and graze from your plate (thus taking the breast as middleman right out of the equation)? And did you ever succeed in breaking suction?

17 Comments:

Anonymous Andrea said...

I'm laughing, but that doesn't mean I don't feel sympathy for your situation.

No, I have no advice. I weaned Frances at just about 13 months exactly, when i could see her molars were coming in and I just couldn't bear the thought of more teething. I hope someone else can help you out, though

7/19/2005 6:45 AM  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

I have a couple of Real-World Lurkers who weaned extremely attached kids after the age of two. I'll ask them if they have any advice.

After I stop laughing, I mean. Boo-yah!

7/19/2005 8:40 AM  
Blogger dublin said...

Okay, I KNOW I am showing my ignorance here (and most probably a complete lack of connection with the current culture at large), but what on earth does "Boo-yah" mean? I have never heard the term before and I suspect I have altogether missed my not quite two year old niece's punch line....

7/19/2005 9:44 AM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

I don't have advice, as I didn't nurse more than 4 months with both girls, as they quit on their own. So I can only offer support, suggestions that someone else be around more at mealtimes where the kiddo wants to nurse, and a hearty laugh at the BOO-YA!

7/19/2005 12:05 PM  
Blogger Moreena said...

Andrea and R2k--yes, that's how Annika was. At 19 months she just said, "Uh, no thanks!" And that was it for her (and keep in mind that at 19 months she was more like maybe 8 or 9 months developmentally speaking, so it was actually young for her, relatively speaking). So easy. Heavenly.

PS--yes, please. I honestly wonder how I am going to accomplish this. I need to hit the LLL meetings, I guess...although going to my first meeting to find out how to *stop* breastfeeding? Is that done?

darcy's mom--OK, here's a link to the urban dictionary definition:
booyah
I do offer fair warning that these are definitions, unmoderated, that are given by readers. They get a bit, ahem, rambunctious. Perhaps best to stop after reading the first entry, although reading through that dictionary can give a fascinating look into folk etymology.

7/19/2005 1:13 PM  
Blogger Moreena said...

Oh, and I love your new profile picture, DM!

7/19/2005 1:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is really, really adorable. I don't have any advice, I have a 14 month old with a dairy allergy so I have no idea when I'll be able to wean him. Hopefully he'll reach a point like Frankie where at least he can show some appreciation :)

7/20/2005 8:45 AM  
Blogger corndog said...

Has there ever been a bad paragraph that began, "But back to my breasts"?

7/20/2005 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Becca said...

I'm with Corndog on this! (And wonder, why have I never started a paragraph that way?)

Natalie, at 21 months, is to walking as Frankie is to weaning (she is flat out refusing to do it)...I can't wait to get them together!

7/20/2005 5:16 PM  
Blogger Moreena said...

Oh, I can definitely think of some bad paragraphs beginning with "But back to my breasts." I can think of several bad paragraphs, but am too horrified to write them down.

And, anon, you're right. I do appreciate her appreciation.

Becca -- Anni was the same way. I'd have to look back through this site to find the exact age she started walking, but it was late. Actually, though, she was even more stubborn about talking. Did *not* want to do that. Once Natalie *finally* starts to feel better, she'll go great guns. That little pumpkin has had such a hard time.

7/20/2005 9:17 PM  
Blogger Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

Oh, my lord, I have not laughed this hard in a long time!

Both my kids just kind of gave it up, so I've no advice, sorry : )

7/21/2005 12:05 AM  
Blogger liz said...

No advice here since Muffin Man refused to have anything to do with taking nutrition directly from my breasts. "What? No bottle? Are you insane?" was his attitude.

7/21/2005 9:51 PM  
Anonymous Beth in Michigan said...

Wow, I just got here via Purple Goddess and I have to respond already because I had almost the exact same experience with my now 5 year old.

He was very reluctant to give up the breast even though I was really ready to be done by the time he turned 1.5, much more so at two. I started "weaning" (handing him a sippy cup) when he was less then a year old so it was definitely a comfort thing by the time he was 2.

It sounds like you are really close to the end. When they ask to nurse, only to pop off after a couple of perfunctory sucks, that's a good sign.

So, long story short, we finally quite at about 2 years and 2 months but, um, he's still obsessed with my breasts and touching my skin and jiggling my fat bits (your so budgey Mom! I love your budgey arms!) He was a *very* skin-to-skin contact baby and remains so. The hotter it is, the more snuggly he wants to be!

7/25/2005 12:50 PM  
Anonymous Kristennn said...

Moreena
Is it wrong that I am *happy* to read this post? Havalah still nurses ... probably on average about twice a day, some days probably 3 times, some days only once, and she turned 2 a month ago. I never would have imagined myself to be someone who is nursing a toddler, my goal was 6 months! So the last 4-5 months I have really been ready to be done, but Havalah is so adamant about it and it's so hard to deny your child comfort and nourishment when they're asking for it ... esp when she gets the bulk of her food through the NG tube. She doesn't talk yet but I can always tell when she wants to nurse. She will try to entice me to one of the spots where we do it, or bring me a pillow ... and then if I try to cut the session short she will say "no" or sign for more. She also loves to poke at my breasts and stick her hands down my top in public. I don't want to make a big deal out of her not touching me, but I also think it's getting to be time for her to stop thinking of my breasts as her own.
I just want weaning to come naturally!

7/25/2005 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Robyn said...

I weaned my son when he was two and a half. Reluctantly (for him). I would "change the subject" a lot. He would ask me to nurse and I would say, "in a little bit but first I have to..." A lot of times he would forget and move on to the next thing. After that it all kind of tapered off. I also never undressed around him. Otherwise it was "Oh yeah!" And he would come after me.

Good Luck!

7/27/2005 9:47 AM  
Blogger Sarahlynn said...

Ellie's nearly 23 months old now (wow!). She's got a 60+ word vocabulary (amazing for Ellie, but she's no Frankie!) and she's just learning to walk. As she's become more independent - playing alone, talking, climbing, motoring about, she's suddenly developed a resurgence of interest in nursing. (She usually nurses about 2-4 times a day.)

I love nursing as a slow way for me to wake up in the morning and an easy way to get her to sleep at night. Otherwise, I'm about through. I love the idea of not being so . . . required. Even if I never go out of town and leave her behind, it's the thought that I could, you know?

Anyway, Ellie is not currently showing an interest in quitting, though I hope that this is a phase and in another couple of months we'll start winding down for good. Now she just looks up at my hopefully, tilts her head to the side, says, "Nuzzzzz?" and puts her fist beside her mouth (our sign for nursing). If I am slow to respond, she will lift my shirt and start showing off my belly, something to be avoided at all costs.

So, yeah. I'm no help, but I'm sort of in the same boat.

9/08/2005 2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I weaned my youngest when he was 5 years old and lost his "milk teeth"- there is still value in it past the "nutrition" stage, in that the child still gets a full dose of maternal antibodies even when nursing very little.

This said, when he hit about 2 1/2, I cut back to just mornings and bedtime. And then to just mornings...and then started finding things to distract him in the morning (snugging and reading a book) and one day I just told him --- you're weaned, did you notice?

I think they need the closeness and if you can find ways to keep that and not need to nurse, go for it. Do keep in mind that the physiological age for weaning (if one could some how turn off the cultural influences) is probably closer to 4 or 5 than 1, so her needs are real.

6/02/2006 10:53 PM  

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