One day Anni was twirling and singing one of her original compositions.
"It's my gift!" she declared.
Dizzy, she fell with spectacular gracelessness.
Laying on her back on the tile floor she began flapping her arms and legs
as if she were making a snow angel.
"Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

Monday, December 12, 2005

"shit" is totally devalued

through overuse around here. Annika's bleeding started up again last night, even though she is still on the highest dose of octreotide she has ever been on. She did need yet another transfusion of both whole blood and plasma, but it doesn't look like this one is going to be as bad as the last one. Still, we know that she cannot simply go on like this, and the question mark over all the doctors' heads is practically visible. At least they have finally gotten a positive hit on a blood culture, which will let them know what kind of infection they are trying to fight in her swollen abdomen. In the meantime, they have her nicely stabilized, and so I'm not in the panic that I felt last week. Our PICU neighbors, though, are in a much more painful and dangerous place. I know the family from the Kohl's House, and so we chat and share tea and coffee. If you're sending prayers or well-wishes our way here at CMH's PICU, be sure and include a thought for our companions on the other side of the glass wall.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear that the bleding has started again. hopefully they will get this all figured out soon.On a more possitive note i was in gander mtn today and looked down and swore that i saw a picture of annika. thinking that she has just been on my mind i picked the magazine up and it was her and frankie on the cover. that is absolutley a sweet picture. well continue to pray for annika. tabitha logans mom

12/12/2005 1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Moreena! Shit. I hope the blood cultures reveal useful information and yes, will add your neighbors to our thoughts. Love to you and your dear girls and Jorg too.

xo Catherine

12/12/2005 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're all still constantly in my prayers. on another, earlier, note... I think with those pictures of Anni and Frankie you hit upon the perfect balance to capturing picture evidence of this time of Anni's life. when she looks at them when she's older she'll be reminded of just how much she loves her sister in addition to contemplating the fight of her life that she competed in for so many of her early years.

holding the four of you (and your neighbors) always in the light.

12/12/2005 3:09 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Well then, shit shit shit shit shit. I'll keep up the prayers and positive thoughts. You need some good news.

Prayers for your neighbors too. I hope things improve for them also.

12/12/2005 3:44 PM  
Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

Oh, crap.
This. is. not. fair.

12/12/2005 4:02 PM  
Blogger Jane Dark said...

Merde. Hang in there, Annika.

I, too, am glad of a positive hit on the blood culture.

12/12/2005 4:32 PM  
Blogger Rev Dr Mom said...

Holding all of you in PICU in prayer.

12/12/2005 4:49 PM  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh, shit, Moreena. Or dreck, for variety. (It means shit in Yiddish, though I know the German meaning is tamer.)

Thinking of you all, day and night.

12/12/2005 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Emma said...

Prayers for all of you and all of the other kiddos (+families) in the PICU too. Lots of (((hugs)))

12/12/2005 5:03 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Prayers for Annika, and prayers for your nieghbor PICU family, and what the heck, while I am at it, prayers for all the kids in that whole hospital!

12/12/2005 5:24 PM  
Anonymous Rowan said...

Altruism at a time like this. You are so kind. Of course we will all be thinking/praying for and of your neighbors as well.

I'm so sorry to hear about the bleeding, but glad that they have a line on the infection thing. Hopefully there will be a connection that will help to clear all of this up for the befuddled docs.

12/12/2005 5:47 PM  
Anonymous Joanna said...

Your girls are so gorgeous and do everything to further my desire for a third child. However, I will always be a liver-in-waiting for Jessica, should she ever need a 2nd tx (I know you understand all the implications of thinking about more kids in our situation). Well, I despair that your darling Annika is bleeding again, how I wish for some respite for you all. Along with the re-siting of lines, I'm sure your shoulders must be up by your ears and your jaws must be aching from the teeth-clenching. I hope you have the chance to attempt some relaxation techniques in the quieter moments. I WILL you more strength and wish it were that easy. Take care and how about just listing a few things that might help you (someone to come in a give you a head massage, fruit, chocolate whatever!). We all want to do something. Love,

12/12/2005 6:28 PM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

Absolutely. The beautiful thing about thoughts and prayers is that they can grow and extend to hug and surround all who need them.

You have mine. Keep strong. I hope the news for Anni (and all of the other children) turns positive soon. May happiness shine upon you. As always.

12/12/2005 6:44 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Sending prayers for both families. Having had two children in NICUs and PICUs, I know how the families can all feel like they're sinking or swimming together.

12/12/2005 6:51 PM  
Blogger ccw said...

Prays for your family and for your neighbors.

12/12/2005 6:57 PM  
Blogger liz said...

Prayers to your family and your neighbors and everyone who has a child to worry over tonight.

Glad that there is some good news and hoping for more good news.

12/12/2005 9:25 PM  
Anonymous Stacy - Tanner's Mom said...

The positive hit on the blood culture is a good start - at least they know how to attack now!

Prayers for your neighbors & for Anni. I hope you get to keep the positive power of Anni around for awhile longer.

12/12/2005 9:57 PM  
Anonymous Robyn, Emma's mom said...

Crap! Keeping Annika and you and the other family in my prayers.

12/13/2005 7:09 AM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

Holding all of you in my thoughts and prayers...There is so much love surrounding you all. I do hope that you can feel its strength.

12/13/2005 8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my, I do hope the bleed will resolve quickly and the Dr's can figure this all out soon. I'll add your PICU neighbors to our prayers. It so nice being asked to pray for others....we will continue to pray for Annika and your family for continued strength and healing. You are right where God wants and needs you to to His little Annika, his beautiful creation.

12/13/2005 10:37 AM  
Blogger the reverend mommy said...

Prayers to you and yours. And your neighbors as well.

12/13/2005 4:38 PM  
Anonymous Marisa said...

Lots of Prayers for ANNI!!

Love, Marisa

12/13/2005 8:53 PM  
Blogger jamie said...

I think about all of you often. I'll keep you--all of you--in my prayers.

12/13/2005 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Becca said...

I'm just sitting here, thinking and praying for you.

12/13/2005 10:39 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

another day and more prayers...
Take care xx

12/14/2005 5:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, Moreena.

xo Catherine

12/14/2005 5:55 AM  
Anonymous Kim, mom to Sami and Kyle said...

I am still keeping the prayers coming.... I hope no news is good news. I have been checking up on you guys daily.

12/14/2005 6:15 AM  
Blogger trisha said...

Me, again, not knowing what to say.

Except I think of you all often and am sending you my love and prayers and other nice things.

12/14/2005 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Checking in again - someone please update us when you are able. Getting a little worried here. Keeping the prayers going - please know you are in my thoughts often ~


12/14/2005 2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another one of the daily checkers...still praying, still thinking about you all constantly. Hoping against hope that you are not updating because you're playing with Frankie in the snow or reading to the two of them snuggled up in Anni's bed.

12/14/2005 3:57 PM  

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