One day Anni was twirling and singing one of her original compositions.
"It's my gift!" she declared.
Dizzy, she fell with spectacular gracelessness.
Laying on her back on the tile floor she began flapping her arms and legs
as if she were making a snow angel.
"Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

Friday, December 09, 2005

the varices strike back

So the results of the scope are back and to everyone's shock, she has 3 new esophageal varices. Big ones. Annika's surgeon, Dr. Superina, came to the O.R. to view them himself, having expressed disbelief even when the doctors called him during the scope to let him know. In a way we are relieved that there is nothing wrong with her intestine and that there is not some new problem that she has to deal with. However, this does mean that something is not working with the shunt. Either the shunt itself is not relieving enough pressure, or there are some hidden veins that the shunt is not taking care of at all. If this all sounds weird and speculative, that's because it kind of is. I don't think anyone is going to talk to us about strategy until next week. I fully expect to hear the word "retransplant" mentioned in the first five minutes of that meeting. But, again, I could be wrong. Meanwhile, I am wondering if we will be leaving the PICU any time soon. In the good news department, I have heard that there is a spare room at the Kohl's house next week and I'm thinking of getting my mom to come up here with Frankie. Originally we were going to wait until Annika was out of the PICU and a little more mobile, but I'm not sure when that will happen. I've been gone with Annika since Nov. 14, except for that all too brief day and a half at home. Had I known that our stay at home would be so short, I would have spent much more time snuggling Frankie and much less time doing laundry and painting bugs on the girls' bedroom walls. So I've got some catching up to do with my youngest. Please know that I am reading all the comments, and I love reading them. It's good to feel the positive energy directed Annika's way, and reading so many well wishes helps my mood, too. So, thanks.


Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

I'm so glad that kohl's house has a vacancy. I can't imagine how much you miss home and normalcy.

I'm praying you get sprung from PICU soon.

12/09/2005 5:25 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

That would be great for you to be able to see Frankie, I hope you can work something out. I hope that you don't have to hear the word retransplant, again. Maybe Dr. Superina will have some amazing alternative to all of this. Prayers are always being said for Annika, as well as thoughts of all of you throughout the day.

12/09/2005 5:46 PM  
Blogger Elle said...

I'm glad the words help. I feel so helpless, and want to do sooo much more. I can only imagine how you must be feelling. I'm glad Frankie will be joining you. I'm sure she is too. I'll keep praying and keep sending postive healing vibes.

12/09/2005 5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we'll keep well-wishing and praying for you and Annika, you must be exhausted.

12/09/2005 5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liebe Moreena, Du bist wirklich unglaublich. Bleib stark! Wir denken permanent an Euch und drücken die Daumen.
Liebe Grüße und noch viel mehr positive Energie an Annika aus Berlin. Herzliche Grüße auch an Jörg, Frankie und Deine Eltern.
judit, miklós und martin

12/09/2005 6:00 PM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

Give Frankie lots of hugs and kisses. I am so glad you get to spend time with her too. And more hugs for Anni--her strength is astounding, as is yours.

You are in my thoughts and prayers :)

12/09/2005 6:15 PM  
Blogger Bettie Bookish said...

Once again I am wishing for some magical combination of words that would bring instant healing and peace of mind. Iti s good news that you may get to spend more time with Frankie. I hope better news is on its way.

12/09/2005 6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad to hear that they found the source of the bleeding, and will be able to control it. that is a good idea for her to post a wish list. good news that you will get to see your other baby soon. prayers continue to be with you.tabitha logans mom

12/09/2005 6:33 PM  
Blogger ccw said...

Hope everything works out with getting Frankie there for a visit. That would be wonderful for everyone.

Continued thoughts and prayers for Annika and the entire family.

12/09/2005 6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How you must miss little Frankie, Moreena! I keep thinking of that. But then it must be good to have had your focus, single-minded, there with Annika.

You are on our minds, in our daily conversation.

xo Catherine

12/09/2005 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Oh I am so hopefully that you et to snuggle with your little Frankie soon. You are such an inspiration. we have so many people praying and wishing you al well. I just want you to know you are an amazing Mommy and I am inspired by you. So much love is being sent to you from our family.

12/09/2005 7:48 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

A care package will be on its way shortly to Ms Annika (anything I can sneak in there for Mom, too???)

We continue to pray for all of you.

12/09/2005 7:52 PM  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

Thanks for the update, Moreena. I hope you are reunited with Frankie soon, and Annika gets to leave the PICU to join her.

Our thoughts here are with you.

12/09/2005 7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My students made some cards for Annika. Hope you get them soon. Our family is keeping her and you in our prayers. Take care.

Frank (Marisa's Dad)

12/09/2005 9:31 PM  
Blogger liz said...

All my love and prayers to you all.

Big hugs for Anni and Frankie and you.

12/09/2005 9:54 PM  
Anonymous Jill said...

Now that I finally figured out how this blog stuff works and that I can leave you a message- I just want to say that we are watching this closely and sending many postive thoughts to you guys. I know too well how hard it is to be away from one of your children to help the other- that in itself is so stressful. I hope you can have everyone together for a little while. Please don't forget how important it is to take care of yourself too- Eat meals and get some exercise if possible. It is so hard to leave them when you are the primary care giver but take the opportunity when you can. And I am also glad that you have such a great team to be working with!

Jill- Marek's mom

12/09/2005 10:21 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Surfed in from R2Ks.

Sending hugs and thoughts your way.

12/09/2005 11:32 PM  
Blogger allison said...

You are all still being loved and thought of across the miles...

12/09/2005 11:40 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

Just wanted to say hello ...
I haven't been home where i have your site bookmarked for a few days so I missed some of the scary stuff. I bet you wish you had too.
I searched you out tonight through links though hoping to read good news ... but I'll settle for could be worse. I hope you do put up a wish list, because i think Annika deserves to be spoiled like crazy right now, and you know how helpless all of your readers feel. Don't forget to include your own needs as well! This summer when all of the drama is done may be a good time for "make a wish" type events as well. Maybe you should make someone get the ball rolling so Annika could start planning and dreaming about it while she hangs out recovering. I'm sorry to hear you're going to be at the hospital over christmas, I have a feeling we will this year too, and I'm starting to feel resigned to it, but I have no other kids to be missing desperately! I hope you, and Annika get to see Frankie soon! You might want to include Frankie on that wish list too, since I don't know how you'll get any shopping of your own done.

12/09/2005 11:55 PM  
Anonymous Rowan said...

Thinking of you.
Still sending our very best.
Hoping for miracles.

12/10/2005 12:42 AM  
Blogger dublin said...

Moreena, I had just written you an e-mail to your IWU address before I got on the blog and read the last update....

Please check your e-mail. I had written in it when I would be arriving in Chicago on Monday and then I had planned to travel on down the line to visit Frankie on Wednesday, but if she will get to be in Chicago by then(!!!!), I will need to adjust my itinerary appropriately...
so, please check your e-mail and get back with me! Thanks!

Give Anni a hug for me!

Love you...


12/10/2005 4:40 AM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

Still thinking and praying...a small family reunion sounds as if it might be good medicine for everyone.
Blessings on all of you

12/10/2005 5:01 AM  
Blogger mc said...

Boy, Annika's body is keeping you guys guessing, huh? I hope all goes well at the next dr's meeting, and that you both get some precious time with the rest of the family as well.

12/10/2005 7:55 AM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I hope your mother and Frankie can come soon. And I hope there will be some good news this week.

12/10/2005 10:18 PM  

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