Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
I remember a May morning twelve years ago, before you were you, when I woke to a landscape wiped clean as a blackboard and knew you were hiding inside a stillness different from any I had ever known. And that night in January, after our long journey, when we were almost there, and the bridge to the island disappeared, and we pushed on anyway (did we have a choice?) into black foggy bottomless space and didn't fall--Does fog beget fog? No, you have a mother and father. So creep back to this house and with a hand solid as my own rap hard! three times on the door,O fog spirit, are you a magician? How did you do that?
and when it opens, as it will, step through the portal and change, change back into my daughter again.--Elizabeth Spires (click for larger version) Our subscription to The New Yorker ensures that I still read poetry on a regular basis. And thank goodness for that. I love that this poem stirs feelings and memories for me that are surely not the same as those of the author when she was writing this (unless, of course, the author also had a daughter facing a second transplant after the failure of the first in the cold month of January). And surely this poem was written with an older child in mind, just entering those unknowable teen years. But, even at just freshly five, I look at my girl and see a mystery sometimes. It feels like every passing minute marks her progress toward leaving. Tomorrow I will take her trick-or-treating. But she will, of course, insist that I stay on the sidewalk out of sight when she goes up to ring the doorbell.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
words are not enough
Monday, October 24, 2005
ah, my little cupcake
Anyway, she got her very own Diddl necklace on her birthday. Although I have told her that she can't wear her necklace until I get around to buying a new clasp for Frankie's necklace. Yes, we're going New. I am obsessed with examining my daughter's stools, but even I have my boundaries. So in the end, the necklace chain swallowing incident did have some logical repercussions. I'll hope this means we can avoid a repeat. Still, I'm keeping my earring collection out of Anni's reach for a while. I don't like the way she was watching them dangle today. So, yes, Annika is now 5 years old. Here are some pictures from the momentous day:
|Oh, cupcake! How do I love thee?||Let me count the ways.|
|Thou art crumbly and sticky and festooned with sublime pastel dots of sugar.||Ah, cupcake. Forsooth, let me hold thee for nigh on several moments more.|
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The most exciting feature? By far? He/she/it tells knock-knock jokes! Both girls have been giving original knock-knock jokes their best shot lately. (A typical Annika example: "knock-knock" "who's there?" "banana" "banana who?" "Banana, you peeled your pants!" followed by much uproarious laughter. A typical Frankie example: "knock-knock" "who's there?" "banana" "banana who?" "ummmmmmm, BANANA!" followed by a confused, but slyly proud smile.) Furby provided much happy distraction during this stay, so thank you Becca and family. As usual, though, the best thing about going to the hospital is coming back home again. Especially when you're almost 5. Birthday pictures coming soon.
Monday, October 10, 2005
You know you're a mother when...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
idyllicHere it is, the first week of October and the girls and I went and frolicked in sunshine-y heat this morning at a local park. We got so sweaty that we decided to go home and play in the Mt. Tiki-Soki Water Volcano, which we bought a few weeks ago at the ToysRUs summer clearance. Well worth the $7. Probably even worth its original price tag, given the maniacal abandon of both girls' laughter. I half-expected Frankie to fall to the ground and start pounding her fist as tears streamed from her eyes from too much mirth. Annika kept the hilarity coming with her experiments in physics, which mainly consisted of seeing which object would fly the highest when placed on the mouth of the volcano just before it squirts (answer: a handful of grass, nicely clumped together with some root system intact so it didn't just explode when the water hit it). Then Annika raced her Big Wheel down the driveway along a chalk racetrack she had drawn herself while Frankie went in a very earnest search around the yard for dog poop. Annika found some one time, and Frankie has been a bit jealous of that Big Find ever since. After that, Annika used her chalk to draw two circles, declared "dance circles." So, for a treat, I put the ridiculous Euro pop musical confection*, which Annika discovered and promptly fell in love with during our recent trip to Germany, in our car CD player and opened all the doors so that the girls could boogie in the driveway. In their chalk dance circles. Then again to the backyard, where the girls made and destroyed a century's worth of sand castles while I swayed in the hammock chair, head back investigating clouds to the soundtrack of their unbearably cute but oh-so-serious play negotiations. In the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that getting both inside involved tears, screams, and an unfortunate peeing accident. But then we had dinner and the girls snuggled with Jörg on the couch watching Bruce Springsteen videos. Frankie did some naked dancing due to some indecision concerning the state of her bladder. Annika, always interested in the finer points of geography, questioned Jörg relentlessly during Springsteen's cover of Diddy Wah Diddy("She don't come from no town. She don't come from no city. She lives right here in Diddy Wah Diddy"): "So, Daddy...Is Diddy Wah Diddy a country?" Then we tucked two exquisitely sweet-smelling girls into bed, where many stories were read. Annika proudly "read" three of the stories herself, with the most amazing ear for indicating voices and the sort of masterly intonation that leaves kids breathless in the hands of a great storyteller.
and not so muchLast night Jörg and I had a big fight over whose nightmare scenario is the most likely to happen. He keeps pushing to schedule the surgery for Annika because he is afraid that she will have a catastrophic bleed if we wait too long to relieve the pressure in her portal vein. I keep dragging my feet and asking him not to push because I have this inescapable fear that the surgery is going to fail and leave her sick and desperately in need of a transplant. In the end he successfully convinced me that even if the Rex shunt does not work, they will be able to do a different shunt that should ward off catastrophe. I'm not sure if I convinced him of anything, but at least tensions between us had eased by the time we went off to bed. It's Love, Crisis-Style. Lordy. Have I mentioned that Jörg is in the middle of preparing his tenure case? Yup. It's due very soon. And although I can't imagine that they could possibly turn him down, it's also true that his department has not had a successful tenure case in something like, oh, fifteen years. And the guys who fixed our leaky roof just told us that the roof needs to be replaced. Um, can that wait until we know if Jörg will still be employed, please? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * If anyone is interested in hearing the rest of that song (and who wouldn't be?), it's called "Dubi Dam Dam" (pronounced "dooby dum dum," although I would love it if I could sing "damn" over and over again while dancing), and it's by a group called Banaroo (I give you the ever delightful google translation of the German Amazon page: "Welcomely in the Dubi country..."). I played this song for Norma's husband, who was there doing some sort of MRI research thingamajig, in Germany. He asked, after hearing the first 30 seconds or so, "Are there any meaningful lyrics?" And I told him, "It depends upon your definition of meaningful. There's some sort of alien visitation involved." (Complete lyrics here) But I'm not giving him the high road here. He busted out some Wiggle Tunes during his daughter's birthday party. "Fruit Salad. Yummy, yummy. (6X)"
More on Grey's Anatomy
- taught the public that you can donate a liver while alive
- highlighted that a candidate must stop drinking before getting on the waiting list
- ensured that the father was listed with UNOS before transplantation was considered by the surgeons
- focused on the fact that the son had been provided with counseling to make this difficult decision
- mentioned that the liver can regenerate in a matter of weeks
- showed that you must be over 18 to be considered a living donor (this was a change you made to the storyline to assure accuracy)
- utilized antiquated and objectionable terminology, "harvested¨, rather than the correct terminology, "recovered"
- implied that care and diagnosis of a potential donor is secondary to getting their organs
- inaccurately said that people are called to receive organs before a patient is confirmed to be brain dead
- implied that MRI's and brain scans are not part of determining brain death
- implied that a neurosurgeon would not normally be part of the pronouncement of brain death
- gave the impression that the six people who were to receive the organs were a priority over the care of the brain damaged patient
- provided the improbable situation of a patient recovering fully from a brain tumor on the brain stem