One day Anni was twirling and singing one of her original compositions.
"It's my gift!" she declared.
Dizzy, she fell with spectacular gracelessness.
Laying on her back on the tile floor she began flapping her arms and legs
as if she were making a snow angel.
"Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

insert expletive here

or maybe just the sound of a scream would make a suitable title. Annika is bleeding, again. Impossible. My mind is still trying to wrap around it. So far we haven't had any of the great quantities of her past acute bleeds. But it's blood where it is most definitely not supposed to be. On the plus side, her mood today is better than it's been in a few days. She's like a little prisoner, looking forward to the release to the outside world, but then overwhelmed and unhappy with all that freedom. Back in her little blue and yellow room, she's perked up back in familiar surroundings. Or maybe it's just that the antibiotics have the fever under control. Whatever it is, she's speaking and grinning and coming up with mischievous plans involving straws and unused packets of ketchup (just imagine).

38 Comments:

Blogger Jane Dark said...

Ack!
I'm so sorry, Moreena.

2/01/2006 2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Moreena! Dammit! I can't imagine your frustation with this turn of events.

Keeping all of you in my thoughts, and wishing for only the best.

Norah

2/01/2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

I will execute the scream for you.

This is ridiculous. Could it be that antibiotics cause her bleeds? Hospitals? Ugh, I am just sooo sorry, Moreena.

2/01/2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

Oh Moreena,- I can't say how sorry I am to hear this news. Sending quantities of love, prayers and positive thoughts to all of you. It seems specially hard when you felt you were on the up and up...
thinking of you.
Many hugs xx

2/01/2006 3:49 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Moreena, Ijust let out some profanity on your behalf. This just plain sucks! It's good that Annika is in a better mood, but the reason why sucks too! I remember how Anna reacted to being home after long hospital stays, and it makes me cry just thinking of it, the way they aren't familiar with home, but lighten up when they go back. Oh, Moreena, prayers and thoughts are headed your way.

2/01/2006 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Shelley (Caroline's Mom) said...

Oh no!! Oh, Moreena, I am so sorry to hear Annika's bleeding has restarted! Sending many thoughts and prayers your way, as always!

2/01/2006 3:57 PM  
Anonymous Marisa said...

Well this just stinks ENORMOUSLY....well MORE than even enormously! IT JUST STINKS!

Now, my little Annika minnow, please stop giving your mommy and daddy heart attacks. You need to start healing so you can get home for good. Now, repeat after me, "There's NO place like home! There's NO place like home!" That's it my little minnow, keep repeating that and make those doctors FIX you once and for all!

HUGGIES to Mommy and Annika!

2/01/2006 4:04 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Man, it just ain't fair. Please give her love from the blog world.

2/01/2006 4:20 PM  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh no, no, no!

Thinking of you all, and hoping hoping hoping for the best.

2/01/2006 4:37 PM  
Anonymous Mary Lee said...

Damn

2/01/2006 5:01 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I heard the news over at Phantom's site.

2/01/2006 5:27 PM  
Blogger angela marie said...

Oh man. I really don't know how your heart handles the up and down...but I suppose...it just DOES. That is what you need to do to be a parent.

God bless. I'll be thinking of you guys. And maybe sending some clotting factors via mind therapy.

2/01/2006 6:04 PM  
Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

Aw, dang!
I'm glad at least that her spirits are high!

2/01/2006 6:22 PM  
Blogger Yankee T said...

God, Moreena, it's not possible.
You're in my thoughts, every day.

2/01/2006 6:23 PM  
Blogger mc said...

I'm so sorry to hear this... but very intrigued by Anni's plans for the straws and ketchup packets. We're all thinking of you...

2/01/2006 6:57 PM  
Blogger susan said...

no! I'm so sorry--sending good thoughts your way.

2/01/2006 7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darn, Darn, this was not suppose to happen to Annika...I feel so bad for all of you. I am praying so hard that she can return back home where she belongs.
hugs,
colleen (spencers gramma)

2/01/2006 7:22 PM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Just thinking and praying and holding you all in my heart.

2/01/2006 8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Moreena, I can't believe it. You're in our thoughts of course.

xo Catherine

2/01/2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger liz said...

&%$#@!!?*$%!

That so sucks. I am very sorry.

2/01/2006 8:35 PM  
Blogger Rev Dr Mom said...

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers that this too will pass.

2/01/2006 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Tammy & Janna said...

So sorry to hear about Annika. So sorry you are in the hospital with her again. So sorry for all of this just when things were going so well. Our prayers are with all of you.

2/01/2006 9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I asked Kelsey to add someone else to her prayers tonight....she immediately chose Annika. So sorry to hear this news. Praying for a turn of events for the better.

2/01/2006 9:57 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

thinking of Annika and you tonight. peace. hopefully some answers will come soon. I just can't imagine the frustration you must feel through all of this...please, docs, let's get little Annika healthy again...

2/01/2006 10:20 PM  
Blogger CLMama said...

Oh crap - I am so sorry to hear this news. Where are they going with this?

2/01/2006 10:21 PM  
Blogger Badger said...

[expletive]! [expletive]! [expletive]!

Sending all members of your family my very best wishes.

2/01/2006 11:10 PM  
Blogger Amanda M said...

Ahh....and back to the central issue that just won't blankety-blank go away. Annika and Tigerlily both have unexplained bleeds, post-tx, over and over and over again. So, if little ol' me knows of two cases, there must be more.

and why??? maybe you two families can team up and all your docs can compare notes. There HAS to be an explanation.

Glad you had a little break, at least. Thank goodness for small favors....

Hugs,
Amanda

2/01/2006 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another day, and more prayers and love. x

2/02/2006 2:57 AM  
Anonymous Kim, mom to Sami and Kyle said...

I'm screaming for you Moreena... I will keep Annika in my prayers and am supporting you in thought.

2/02/2006 5:59 AM  
Anonymous Lisa and Aiden said...

Praying..

2/02/2006 6:16 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Anni, sorry you're bleeding again cookie.
Straws.... and ketchup... hmmmm... yes. MUCH can be done with those two things!
Have at it girlie!
I'll just be here swearing under my breath. And praying for you lil muffin.

2/02/2006 7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How crappy that your back at the hospital again!! Hopeing that tey resolve this very quickly. continued prayers tabitha logans mom

2/02/2006 9:36 AM  
Anonymous Beanie Baby said...

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Thinking of you guys.

2/02/2006 10:12 AM  
Blogger DevilMacDawg said...

This just makes me cry. My heart goes out ot you....

2/02/2006 10:58 AM  
Anonymous Joanna said...

I cannot tell you how bad I feel that you are back in hospital with a bleed (of all things!!!). It should not be happening. Don't you think that the varices that were still noticeable could still have caused this if it is still a smaller bleed. I hope to goodness it hasn't worsened since your post and that they have Annika's fever under control. Thinking of you as always, gosh you barely had time to catch up on your sleep. Take care,

2/02/2006 3:28 PM  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

I am incredibly sorry, and shocked, and saddened.

I pray extra hard today, tomorrow--as long as it takes to get through this.

Hoping for the best for you! I am so sorry.

2/02/2006 6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

moreena, there are no words. i came by but, the two of you were in the middle of what i am sure was a much needed nap. i will come and visit asap. love, genny

2/02/2006 11:38 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

f**k

2/03/2006 11:12 AM  

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