One day Anni was twirling and singing one of her original compositions.
"It's my gift!" she declared.
Dizzy, she fell with spectacular gracelessness.
Laying on her back on the tile floor she began flapping her arms and legs
as if she were making a snow angel.
"Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Must you see the sun to know it warms you, Grasshopper?

OK, so now I get the reason all my neighbors own gas mowers. I'm thinking that I sweated (sweat? swote?) off maybe 15 pounds today mowing the front lawn. The back yard will just have to remain all wild and untended until the heat breaks, because my little green reel mower loses much of its cuteness when viewed through eyes bleary and stinging from the drops of sunscreen-tinged sweat rolling down my forehead. I was wishing for a sweatband today for the first time in my life, and that's saying a lot because I made it through my entire teen-aged existence in the 80s with neither sweatband nor legwarmers. Our cat is endlessly fascinated when I go out to do yard work. He lolls about luxuriously on the window sill, stretched out to his considerably furry length, watching my every move through the window screen. I'm pretty sure I know what he's thinking. "Stupid, stupid humans." And coming from a cat who has run, in a panic, straight into a wall and attempted (repeatedly) to hide himself behind a toilet, that's saying a lot. Here I am, after mowing the lawn today (click to go bigger, if you dare): a) here you see my super-ultra-mega-sunscreen melting off my face b) here you see splotchy, smudgy marks where my sunglasses rubbed a lovely raw patch c) here you see me mouth-breathing, like an overweight Saint Bernard panting in the Sahara d) here you see my crazed, blood-shot eyes (Why, no! I haven't ever had an internet stalker! Go figure. One of life's great mysteries, I guess.) (edited to add: I just checked my referrer logs and discovered with wondrous serendipity that I am the #2 result on the WebMD search "underarm stink." Just out of curiosity, I checked Google. #4.)

12 Comments:

Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

hilarious!

7/16/2006 10:28 PM  
Blogger Phantom Scribbler said...

Yeah, now I'm wishing that you had Haloscan comments so that I could make that little laughing face.

My glasses rub that same patch into my nose.

7/16/2006 11:22 PM  
Blogger purple_kangaroo said...

We love our electric mower (ours is the kind with a reversible handle so the cord doesn't get tangled up), but I've found the idea of a reel mower interesting. Thanks for the review. :)

7/17/2006 12:41 AM  
Blogger corndog said...

Haven't I professed my bloggy crush on you? And, combined with the alarming frequency with which I click on your sites, I think that qualifies me as a stalker, thank you very much.

7/17/2006 6:18 AM  
Anonymous Becca - Natalie's mommy said...

I was all set to mow this weekend and Jason said, "Are you crazy?" This from the same man that wore a polyester police uniform all weekend in that icky heat! So our lawn is still long and green while our neighbors' are scotched!

WOOHOO. Sure it's 5 inches long and I lost one of Natalie's sandals...oh, well.

7/18/2006 8:36 AM  
Blogger ~Macarena~ said...

As a tiger, I must defend my brethren. Your cat is probably just thinking "Stupid," because both the emphasis and "humans" are a given. And no one who sleeps and stretches that much is willing to expend extra energy.

7/20/2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger The Laundress said...

Hey there Moreena,

wow, I have been hopping around in your many blogs and multitude of postings. You have sucked me right in, lots to ponder.

We have many common threads: lawn mowing, sweat, librarianship, Ritalin, scary-sick yet super-funny kids.

You ever post about laundry?

All the best, thanks for blogging!

7/31/2006 7:36 PM  
Blogger Rowan said...

I thought I was the only one who looked like that on a regular basis.

8/21/2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Hilarious! This is why I won't mow the lawn.

8/25/2006 11:19 AM  
Anonymous Bridgette said...

Google now has you at 7 on the list for underarm stink. Pretty soon you will fall off the first page on the search. No one reads past the first search page, so that's progress.

9/22/2006 7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alphabet Pillows
Personalised Keepsakes

7/09/2008 1:27 AM  
Anonymous Moses said...

This won't work in reality, that is what I suppose.
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1/25/2012 1:35 AM  

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